Despite all that talk in the last post about being frustrated and cynical I am still quite the political blog reading junkie. Recently, while satisfying this insatiable need, I found that Rudy Giuliani has, for about the millionth time, unnecessarily made mention of that remarkable fact that – in case you were somehow unaware – yes, as mayor of New York City, he experienced the 9/11 attacks first hand! And this got me thinking; there are a significant handful of public figures in this country who, by their consistently ridiculous statements, have practically eliminated all need for parody. That is quite an achievement, and for this they should probably receive some kind of recognition. And hopefully, with the reception of such recognition for their efforts, they will come to the conclusion that their job is complete and finally stop talking.

So please allow me to introduce the not-so-honorable People Who Should Stop Talking Award. And the first award winners are none other than Rudy Giuliani and Pat Robertson.

Rudy Giuliani
In his bid for the Republican presidential candidate nomination, Rudy Giuliani has proved incredibly creative in working in references to his “leadership” on 9/11 pretty much no matter what the subject in question is. A couple of months ago, Helen Kennedy at NY Daily News demonstrated this with a humorous compilation of Giuliani’s 9/11 infused answers to questions quite unrelated to the subject. Recently, he has only continued in this habit, further taking it practically to the point of satire. When discussing how poorly his campaign did in Iowa he said,

“None of this worries me – Sept. 11, there were times I was worried.”

Even better yet, when asked on MSNBC what he thought of Hillary Clinton tearing up in New Hampshire, he said,

“This is not something I would judge anybody on, one way or the other. And the reality is, if you look at me, September 11 — the funerals, the memorial services — there were times in which it was impossible not to feel the emotion.”

Wow. Excuse while I vomit.

Ok. All better now.

Pat Robertson
Pat Robertson has made a number of what he claims to be divinely inspired predictions over the years, as well as intense – and often offensive – inferences that past disasters have come as a result of God’s judgment for this or that behavior across the nation. At the end of each year he acts as though he has an annual Moses-like mountaintop meeting with God himself and comes back down the mountain making predictions for each new year based upon what he believes “the Lord” has told him. Many of said predictions have simply not come to pass, such as the prediction last year that there would be a massive terrorist attack on U.S. soil in 2007 resulting in many deaths. Although this didn’t come to pass, Robertson found a very convenient out, saying,

“All I can think is that somehow the people of God prayed and God in his mercy spared us…
So did I miss it? Possibly. Or, on the other hand, did God avert it? Possibly. But whatever, it didn’t happen, so I think we can all rejoice.”

Yeh, “whatever.” Maybe he can hear from God, maybe not. Maybe he’ll “hit it” sometimes, but then sometimes he might “hear wrong” too and look like a ridiculous clown while making God look like a bad political analyst. Maybe he is a complete charlatan tricking people out of their money, maybe not. “Whatever.” No big deal, right? Since he has established such direct communication I guess he should have asked God why it didn’t happen before just saying “whatever”. He might as well just say he and God have some bets going each year.

This year he is being a bit coy, cautiously suggesting God told him who would win the 2008 Presidential election,

[God] told me some things about the election, but I’m not going to say…

I’m a little shaky on it and I didn’t want to say anything about it publicly (then why are you!?). I’m not sure I heard from the Lord. And if I did, I hope I heard wrong.

Come on, give it a break man. I really don’t know what these guys are thinking. I have kind of laughed off their buffoonery for some time, but they really are getting to the point of ridiculousness that is just too much. So I would like to present this award to them in the interest of saying, sirs, for the sake of everyone (including God and the victims of 9/11), please, please stop talking!